


New Information

by Honorable_mention



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Detective Diego Hargreeves, Fluff, Gen, Identity Reveal, Klaus and Diego are Secretly Friends, Pre-Season/Series 01, shhh don’t say anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26278681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honorable_mention/pseuds/Honorable_mention
Summary: Patch was worked with Detective Harmann for years. She didn’t know him as well as she liked, but the last thing she expected to find at his desk was junkie who seemed happy to see her.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & Eudora Patch, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 2
Kudos: 187





	New Information

Diego Harmann was an interesting person. Patch had never met anyone quite like him. He was brooding, quiet, with a large scar down the side of his cheek and a constant scowl. Quick to anger but easy to cool down, he was exactly the kind of person Patch could put up with really well for short periods of time.

They’d first become friends when they were beat cops together. He’d always be there before her, no matter what time she arrived to work, and she was half convinced he lived under his desk. But every morning he’d have a steaming cup of coffee waiting for her so she wasn’t complaining.

She didn’t know a lot about him but she didn’t mind. It was just another case for her to solve. Harmann definitely had some issues with his family, that was obvious, but that probably had to do with the fact that he hadn’t talked to either of his parents in years. There weren’t any siblings that she’d met and Diego didn’t seem like the kind of person to have siblings. He was that special kind of brooding that was reserved for only children.

Together they’d worked their way up to detective, with matching desks across from each other and a shared house plant they changed every month when it died. Diego was itching to leave, she could tell. It was only a matter of time before she came into work to find his desk empty. 

What she wasn’t expecting that morning was to walk in and find not Diego sitting at his desk but a man clearly strung out on drugs.

“Well good morning!” He called, waving at her. Both of his palms had tattoos, hello and good-bye, dark and jagged. He was wearing a tight leather shirt and a long blue skirt, his eyes covered in messy eyeliner. She stood a few feet away, not sure how to approach him. He didn’t seem dangerous but she could never tell with those types.

“Who are you?” She asked.

He put his hand over his chest in mock outrage. “Diego hadn’t told you about me? I’m offended.” She tentatively walked over to him and he stuck out his hand for her to shake. “The name’s Klaus, I’m Diego’s brother.”

That was new information. An interesting revelation.

“What are you doing here Mr. Harmann?”

“Harmann?” He seemed surprised and asked if that was the last name Diego was going by. She said it was. For some reason he found that absolutely hilarious and started laughing. 

“Is there anything you need?” She asked again, still cautious.

“No, no, I was just looking for my brother. And what better place to find him than his office! He’s got to show up eventually. Although I am a bit surprised he ended up as a cop, considering all that time he spent with Vanya in the punk band. He was really into the anti-cop stuff then, always raging against these sorts of establishments. And then institutional racism, you know, I thought it’d be more of a turn-off. But I guess Diego’s hard-on for being a superhero won out in the end.”

All she could do was nod. There was a lot to take in.

At that moment Diego came stumbling through the door, a stack of files under his arm and two coffees in his hand.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, handing her one of the coffees before turning to his desk. His face blanched when he saw his brother.

“Diego! It’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“What are you doing here Klaus?” He asked, trying to push his brother towards the door. When he realized that wasn’t going to work he shot his brother a look and pointed to the uncomfortable metal chair between him and Patch.

“Am I not allowed to visit my dear beloved brother?”

“You haven’t before.”

“Well all I want is companionship. And money, but that’s just a little extra something between brothers.” Suddenly Klaus’s head whipped around and he began to bicker loudly with the air. “Well I’m sorry, Ben, but you can’t offer both of those can you? And you keep lecturing me and honestly I’m getting tired of it.”

“Ben’s here?” Diego asked, as if it weren’t concerning that his brother was this invested in an argument with what she could only imagine to be a hallucination.

“Yeah, he’s sulking in the corner.”

“So you’re sober?”

“No, Ben’s just persistent.”

“Ah,” Diego said, and she realized that he’d been excited before. She really must have been missing some vital piece of the conversation. Yes she was a detective, but detective’s weren’t supposed to figure out everything on their own. They asked questions.

“Would anybody care to fill me in on what’s happening here?”

“Well it’s a bit of a long story,” Diego began.

“A really fucked up story at that,” Klaus added. He turned to his brother. “God, just imagine what would happen if Pogo wrote a tell-all book about the family.”

“Who?” She asked.

“The robot butler who sort of raised us,” Diego said, nonchalantly. Like that was normal. “Though really Mom did most of the work.”

Well at least she knew what a mother was. 

“Yeah, it’s totally messed up how we were raised by a hyper-intelligent chimp and a robot,” Klaus laughed. “I have so much material when we do group in rehab.”

And that one singular thing she understood was gone.

But Patch was a detective, and she’d been a kid at the height of the Umbrella Academy’s popularity. She’d had a poster of the Rumor and she’d participated in the cereal box challenges. Her little brother had even collected the full set of mini figures. 

It was a wild theory, but she knew she’d heard the names Diego and Klaus together before. And it would make sense, Diego’s strange backstory, the surname that sounded suspiciously like Hargreeves, the fact that Diego seemed to believe his brother was actually talking to something in the air.

“Wait, Diego, you weren’t part of the Umbrella Academy were you?” She asked.

“How did you know?” He looked around to make sure no one was near.

She shrugged. “I’m a detective.”

“Oh,” Klaus said, “I like this one. So much cooler than that girl you dated when we were teenagers, the one with the red hair. Remember her?”

Diego’s face turned red. “I thought we agreed not to talk about her Klaus.”

He put his hands in the air. “Just saying, I like Detective,” his eyes searched her desk for a moment, “Patch.”

“We’re not dating,” she cut in to correct him.

“Sorry,” Klaus said, seeming genuinely remorseful. “I wouldn’t want someone to think I was dating him either.”

“Can we talk about this later?” Diego asked, pushing his brother towards the doorway. He shot Patch an apologetic look as they left.

There was no way Patch was going to drop this. She couldn’t wait to pester him with questions.

**Author's Note:**

> A little oneshot because I’m sad and having trouble finishing my longer fics


End file.
